How many lizbeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Please send your answers to

Answer Number 1. None. They dont have elictricity.

Answer Number 2. It takes five, one to hold the bulb and four to schrew.

Answer Number 3. I'll say it takes at least two Lizbeks to screw in a lightbulb.
Supposing the lightbulb is big enough.
Then again it could be more than two (The more the marrier)

Answer Number 4. --- Laboratory wrote:
It takes only one Lizbekian to screw in a lightbulb.
I know these things 'cos I am a scientist. Unless of course it's a trick
> question and all Lizbek lightbulbs have bayonet fittings.

Dear Mr. Scientist,
You in fact have a point and of course IT IS NOT A TRICK QUESTION.
lizbek lightbulb...check the site every day until 9.9.99 when,
unfortunately, the lights go out.

Answer Number 5. None. What's a lightbulb?

Answer Number 6.
--- Mark McCormick wrote:
> Seems to me... After reviewing your site...
> That it takes virtually one person...Mr. McCormick

In a purely virtual sense you are correct. I wonder too, if you had
the opportunity to switch on I Have A Car?
May your bulbs burn brightly,
Mistah Rose - PTT/Lizbekistan
We are still waiting for the correct answer...

Answer Number 7.
--- "Larry W. Powell" wrote: > As many as it takes

Dear Mr. Powell,
Thank you for your response. Do you know the book by the white
house electrician? It takes a lightbulb?
Have you heard the hit song I Have A Car? Give it a listen and
drive safely.
Mistah Rose - PTT/Lizbekistan

Answer Number 8.
--- JTorbik wrote:
none - in a virtual country, there are no lightbulbs.

Dear JTorbik,
Many thanks for your response. You were not the first to express
"none" citing the virtual nature of Lizbekistan with regards to
lighting fixtures. Your answer however is intriguing.
Please feel free to listen to the hit song I Have A Car, probably
one of the greatest hits of the MP3 format ever created. Ask your
collegues to listen to it to and perhaps vote on that as Best Song Of
The Century.
Mistah Rose - PTT/Lizbekistan

Answer Number 9.
--- Keith Rivas wrote:
> It's really not that difficult... it takes at least
> two, the difficult part is getting them into the
> light bulb....
> Keith Rivas
> "wetback" (I actually swam across, and I'm here
> illigally, but request political assylum from my
> economically depressed country of Mexico).

Dear Mr. Keith Rivas,
Your answer is so right on, for someone who understands high end
syntax and double entendre, your spelling is a bit off. Illegally is
spelled as I have spelled it. But nevermind, that is unimportant. Did
you note that The Pricess is also a swimmer?
I am forwarding your response to the High Commission on Love & Light.
One last thing. Have you listened to I Have A Car? This hit is now
playing in the streets, in the mall and virtually everywhere in
downtown and outer Lizbekistan. I urge you to download it to your MP3
Mistah Rose - Janitor & Rock Musician -

Answer Number 10.
--- Red Robinson wrote:
> only 2, but how did they get in there??????

Dear Mr. Red,
Answering a question with a question is of course Socratic, and your
question raises Euclidean drama to a new level, don't you agree?
Many thanks.
By the way, have you heard I Have A Car? Voted greatest song of the
late 20th Century. Download it to your car cigarette lighter.
Mistah Rose b- Mechanic and Rock Musician -

Answer Number 11.
--- "Robert L. Swain" wrote:
> I imagine in a gigantic light bulb hundreds of
> lizbeks can be in there
> screwing!!
> which is the purpose of this email...
> I am a loser and a virgin and I want to know if I
> can get laid in Lizbecistan...?
> (please help because I am 44 and am afraid I am running out of time!!)
> thanks..

Dear Mr. Swain,
Of course you can get laid in Lizbekistan. Everyone gets laid in
lizbekistan and it doesn't cost very much at all. I'm certain you are
not a loser, but instead a "finder," and since having found
lizbekistan, how did you find I have a car? the hit song. Start
singing this hot tune at the office and you won't need to come to
lizbekistan to get laid. Office romance will seethe about you in a
virtual red tide.
Your imagination is pretty interesting.
Mistah Rose - Department of Twist & Shout -


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