"we are not in the habit of discussing devious sexual habits."

I am afraid that your request for information has caused a diplomatic furore in our country. It is election day, no-one wants our gold anymore, and you decadent Europeans are more worried about your own nipples than the emerging social democracies of the world. Our esteemed fiscal adviser said, and I quote, "we are not in the habit of discussing devious sexual habits such as 'pegging our nipples' to anything, let alone to the major currencies of the world. Who knows who has handled currency before it reaches you. THe last thing one wants to do is put it in contact with one's intimate body parts". Unfortunately we tried to update our esteemed F.A re your currency situation (and the global trade in Marlboro units which has replaced the ECU) but he fell into a drunken stupor and couldn'tbe revived. We strongly advise that you respect our public holidays and go offline to avoid such incidents in the future.
Yours sincerely, Abassador Roving Shitstirrer jnr.

(the apology follows later...)



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