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NTM 1du 10 august 1998 (afternoon edition)
These Days In Lizbekistan: End of War?
DOWNTOWN LIZBEKISTAN--LIZBEKS SPENT THE WEEKEND PREPARING FOR EVACUATION AMID FESTERING VACATION PLANS, AND A WAR WITH IBM.NET that might end, according to sources in THE GOVERNMENT. Princess Liz said she might send over a "La guerre est une chose trop grave pour etre confiée a des militaires," announced Georges Clemenceau, who was brought back from the dead to say this (1917). Clemenceau
then took the Metro Causualties have been few, although one Lizbek woman lost her
house, but discovered her dishes were finally done Things got sticky indeed. Jannky The following message was intercepted at Lizbekistan's Message Interception Bureau located in the Cafe On The Corner: RE: Cracked Hey Cracked, I don't know why, of all the imaginary things that could have happened, a question of etiquette is being continued, long after being resolved, and characterized as a war. I think of it as a minor diplomatic dispute, amicably resolved by all involved parties. No blood was shed, no bullets used, and, except for some bruised egos, no injuries reported. Further, no bloodbath is anticipated. Relax. Order another can of Rheingold, light Vogue Ultra Light (Menthol) and read the newspaper. You'll be OK tomorrow. Take care, relax, enjoy Lizbekistan and enjoy some personal peace, General Bard "We'd better put our Minister for Tricky Things, Mr. Nick Quinn The Princess, resplendent in a POWDER BLUE ensemble, said she was happy the WAR IN LIZBEKISTAN was finally coming to an end. Mr. Donovan "What will I do now?" said General Bard, who HAS NO SUMMER VACATION PLANS, and can only DREAM of LIZBEKISTAN, banned from the land of FREE COCKTAILS With Dangles off in New York City to meet with Olivier des Clers
(Princess says who is Mark Mcgwire?) The War in Lizbekistan q, did however, provide Lizbeks with a renewed sense of country and in a word, IDENTITY. To show off the new glowing nationalism, The Princess has ordered BUTTONs from Los Angeles DREAM TEAM, EASTWEST (Internet:ewest4@earthlink.net) saying simply, I LOVE LIZBEKISTAN.COM
And with that, wistfully, July turned the corner into August,
a month known for its magestic strides, deep kisses and long goodbyes
on street corners. There is only one word for War. That word is
Why? (screamed loud and long, tears in the eyes and frogs in the
throat) and the last word is surely a response to the first one,
uttered long ago, which may or may not have been a sweet and innocent,
"Hello...do you speak Lizbek." War "The war is in our hearts," said The Princess on NBC's Today Show
To be continued...... |
PAIR OF BUSTY RUSSIAN MODELS 
to 
factor was "in fact, knocked out, but I was going to quit anyway."
bearing his name and disappeared into a gaggle of Japanese Tourists visiting Lizbekistan for the first time.
and Dangles outwitted ibm.net forces with a glue-like substance that was
very much like glue, pouring it over the head of General Bard. "It is glue," Nangles said. "Elmer's. It's the official GLUE OF LIZBEKISTAN.
of Tokyo rolled in to Lizbekistan with a mouthful of CHEWING GUM and applied it generously to the GENERAL's SHORTS. General Bard tried to laugh it off, but it was more SEX than he'd had since MAINFRAMES were used to count to numbers higher than 100.
, on this one," said The Princess, downing a Rheingold 
and looking off towards the smoking smokestacks now churning
out RED TAPE KITS AND LIFESTYLE kits. "Perhaps it's a surrender without a surrender. It's over? Well,
I guess. I don't have much time for War now anyway, I've roadside
lobsters waiting for me."
, celebrated too, blowing a DIXIE TUNE with 3-D FROMAGE BUGLES, the most recent REGIONAL PRODUCT OF LIZBEKISTAN to acquire RELIGIOUS STATUS. Miss Oliver 
, who is busy writing her memoirs PINK POSITIVE , soon to be appearing in GALASNOST, tossed her hat off and waved goodbye to Miss Reith, who was off to ROME to test the strength of Italian Stallions
roam(ing) free looking for LIZBEKS in a bella figura costume, these HORSEs of a different color (red, green, white), celebrating the end
of THE WAR.
, until "at least I say so," said The PRINCESS.
, Minister Sans Portefeuille, to plan a STATE TRIP to the COAST OF MAINE where lobsters and summer corn dripping with butter and dotted
with salt will be the fare of the day, or the week, for THE PRINCESS and her entourage. Olivier Allais, consultant to the PRINCESS 
, has found a SPONSOR FOR THE STATE VISIT, yes! yes! yes! Mark McGwire, (still stuck at 45 home dingers) who said, "Put it on my tab."
in their summer dresses, and BOYS 
chock full of HORMONES. "Ah, the recreation of procreation," The Princess remarked pulling
a feather from her wing. "Here,"she said offering the feather
to a camerman from 
. . .