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LIZBEKISTAN PAYS VIRTUEL

Lizbekistan Virtual Country is a country, as it's name indicates, without a physical territory.

Re-opened in June 1996 by it's citizens and ratified by the members of government appointed
at the first 'THINK TANK' cabinet meeting, it has one aim, but which one is the whole question.
Virtual, that sounds very groovy, multi-media and up to the minute, but what does it mean?

How do you get there?
What does one do sur place?
Who are it's inhabitants?
What are the natural resources?
How does the whole thing work?
The country is be located on the web.
It's citizens will, with their (readily available via the site)
passports, residency permits and visas access their country/site
upon tapping it's address into their computer
(if they don't have one physical forms of access are available).
Once in they will be able to visit/consult and build (giving content to)
the various sectors/components that make up their country.

Lizbeks, as the citizens are called, are in fact the country's major resource.
As with any country a virtual country takes on it's character over a
period of time through interchange and a common history.
This can take hundreds of years but Lizbekistan is in a hurry.
It has a calendar of events leading up to the fatidic 9-9-1999 deadline
which impresses a sense of haste upon it's citizens as if life in
this country should be lived fast forward.
What does the deadline mean, will it be the same thing the Berlin wall,
the break up of the Soviet Union or the retrocession of Hong Kong?
A virtual country with a use by date ? Are they going to close the country?
What exactly is going to happen? What kind of country is it?
One might very well ask - but no time for hesitations read on...

To resume, we have an interactive/on-line country with a deadline,
a very top heavy government, a red tape industry,
a burgeoning import/export industry
(selling regional products our major breadwinner),
a gossip industry, the pseudo-tourism industry
and ever increasing immigration. Are you exhausted?
So am I, and I have to run the country.

This virtual territory is populated on a 'part-time basis'
by a fun-loving, energetic and curious about the outside
world people who take on positions of responsability choosing
their own titles and bringing with them their ideas; far flung, whacky,
right to the point or completely beside the point as to how best to run the country.
They are attracted by the possibilities of participating in the decisionmaking processes
from which they are so often deprived in their other country, and they just love hobnobbing
with the other ministers and government officials which they can frequent at such close quarters
(and or correspond with via e-mail when situated in the outlying regions).

You can see how attractive the possibilities are for future passportholders from wherever they might be!

Now that you know all that Lizbekistan can do for you, you are probably asking yourself

what can you do for Lizbekistan

as this country is a business, a business looking for partners to become involved in
the very exciting prospect of building it's key industries. Which industry should
I invest in? What do I have to offer? Content? Logistics? Technical aid?
or CASH? de préférence en petites coupures usées :-)))

Don't forget that the domestic market is not only undiscerning but has no
concept of value for money and is growing exponentially.


AN EXHAUSTIVE BREAKDOWN

(typical Lizbek phrase)

The Little Pink Book : also known as the 'Lizbek Files' an exhaustive
resumé of everything one needs to know about the what, how, when, why
and how much of life in Lizbekistan + customs, immigration, the government and
up to date communiqués.

Passports : document to be printed in a limited series which will act as a physical
passport and a very graphic fast facts description of the various aspects of the country.
Format will be like a fold out road map with a central panel showing passport details
i.e. : I.D. photo, personal details, stamps to indicate participation in special events,
importation and exportation stamps indicating purchases of regional products etc.
A unique document for every passportholder.

Visas & Carte de Séjours : as above in a simplified format.

The Order of Lizbekistan : the official tassle given for services to the country.

Stamps : for postage of course.

Assorted red tape documents (sur mesur) :
production of highly essential documents such as
timbre fiscal*,
carte d'itentité,
carte de sécurité sociale,
carte de victime,
carte de réduction,
carte grise,
livret de famille,
extrait de naissance,
renouvellement,
remplacement,
réctification,
délivrance,
domiciliement,
changement de domicile
et justificatifs divers
(without which of course very little pseudo tourism can be done or anything else in life.)

Certificates of permission upon request.

C.S.G.L. : Certificats de citoyenneté.
Le Citoyen Actif
Le Citoyen Bienfaiteur
Le Citoyen Crédible
Le Citoyen Définitive

C.A., C.B., C.C., & C.D. à 100f, 200f, 500f et plus!!!

Tourism will include all travel within the site and outside events attached to
the 'Happening' side of the project + organised state trips & official visits.

THE IMPORT/EXPORT INDUSTRY

Regional Products : The regional products industry has
several axes, the first being objects related to Lizbek lifestyle.

Home Furnishings :The well established line of quilts, cushions and
other soft-furnishings using 'atlas' the famous silk ikat fabric from Uzbekistan
(Uzbekistan being the first physical country to build cultural and commercial ties with Lizbekistan).
This Uzbek fabric has become emblematic in Lizbek culture.
We must point out here that Lizbekistan's virtual status means
that all raw materials (except brainpower) are imported from outside
and that Uzbek culture has been a major influence.
Another sector of the lifestyle furnishings feature soft-furnishings
in cotton and linen printed with photos using a travel within the realm theme.
These products may also be ordered to measure using personal photos
from the client arranged by the one of the state designers.

Edibles : Small series of 'authentique produits régionaux'
have been produced in the form of wine, honey & mineral water.

Lingerie : The national costume is represented by the brand
new line of 'Lingerie Fine Lizbek' which can be worn at any time
with costumes from other countries; a definite advantage for those
who like to wear their national colours in a discreet fashion.
This line includes Boxer shorts in the aforementioned uzbek fabric,
along with knickers, XYZ fronts, strings and hipsters.

Three newspapers are published sporadically in Lizbekistan :

The state run 'State Newsletter'

with missives from the state trips etc...


A letter from America...

A letter from Latvia...

The independant organ 'The Lizbek Sentinel', Editor-in-Chief : Roger Cohen,

To : Son Altesse Royale Liz
From : Roger Cohen, editor-in-chief, Lizbek Sentinel

Stirlinabad, November 6, 1996

Your Altesse,

During the recent audience you accorded me you seemed open to the idea of an independent organ
-The Lizbek Sentinel- publishing on the entire virtuality of your territory. In any free society an
independent organ is a necessary thing, as you so begrudgingly acknowledged. However, my unhappy
experience since our meeting suggests that the freedom of Lizbekistan and it's citizens may not be the
first of your concerns.

That there was no property to rent in Stirlinabad was understandable. Your enlightened guidance has
turned it into a boom town. But that in the virtually limitless expanse there should not exist a
square metre of office space to house the Sentinel (*Virtual Trith is Better than no Truth at All*)
was baffling. When I contacted your minister of Dis-Information about this problem, he suggested we
could reprint in Kabul and and air-freight a few copies into the Queendom every day - a fatuous
suggestion, if you will permit me to say so. In the end, I opted to attempt publication from my own
home in upper Stirlinabad (close to Elizian Fields), only to find that my telephone line had been cut.
When I called your minister of the Post and Embarrassing situations about this, he muttered some
thing about Taliban raids, a virtual state of war and his upcoming game of tennis. I have not been
able to use my phone for a week. My growing suspicions that the Sentinel, project was the
object of some form of virtual censorship were reinforced when the state owned Lizliz paper mill
informed me of a sudden shortage of newsprint and the first journalist I had hired, Amanda Earnest, was
found dead in the back of a truck belonging to the state-owned Royalweave textile conglomerate.
(Naturally, the Sentinel, were it in business, would have reported on this heinous crime, but, in the
current state of things, the vast majority of Lizbek citizens remain ignorant of Ms. Earnest's end).

I know that your attachment to liberty and a free press is sincere and am sure that my problems must
arise from a succession of misunderstandings. I would welcome a further meeting that might open up
the way to publication. Vive Lizbekistan! Vive SARL! Vive le Lizbekistan

Yours in calculated but absolute devotion,

Roger Cohen

P.S. Where's my passport?

and the actualités des gens célèbres magazine

'Galasnost' run by Anthony Fowler and Johanna Halford.

+ the foreign press

Exhibitions of regional products, Conseils d'états, Task Force meetings, Gala dinners etc.

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

Dec. 1995 La Princesse au Petit Pois invited us 'avant l'heure' to the first
'Happening Commercial' of Lizbek regional products with presentation and sale ofdes
cél?bres couettes, coussins, traversins et sacs enti?rement doublés en...

Jun. 1996 Think Tank : foundation meeting of the state where the cabinet
members were re-instated, positions were ratified and objectives decided upon.

Jul. 1996 Regional Products exhibition sale at Lizbek Embassy
Paris before departure by the head of state for her summer residence.

Sep. 1996 First state trip after official recognition of
Lizbekistan by Uzbekistan. Commercial and trading ties renewed
between the two countries especially in the textile industry.
13 ministerial appointments made.

Nov. 1996 Privy council meeting tenu le lundi 4 novembre 1996
General outlines of the issues discussed : (The Contents of the Internet Site)

Dec. 1996 Very big gathering á l'occasion de la première visite
officielle de Liz the IXth chez Bensimon 'Autour du Monde' Paris, rive gauche et rive droite.
Exhibition of regional products and speech made by the Admiral of the Fleet in ancient Lizbek
(translated by the Minister for Entertainment).

Mar. 1997 State trip to New York for Super Talks on technical
strategy to be engaged upon via the web for communication with the outside.
Trip organised by the Minister for Guidance & Misguidance.

Apr. 1997 Official visit to Riga, capitol of Latvia where talks were held
between the emerging powers. Particular attention was paid to their de-nationalization
programme and to border control. Trip organised by 'our contact in Riga'.

Jun. 1997 Ist Anniversary of Lizbekistan celebration.
With ratification of the official cocktail; C.T.F.
Introduction of the C.S.G.L.
Certificats de Citoyens Actifs, Bienfaiteurs, Crédibles et Définitives
and the déj? célébre P.M.E. Physical Matchmaking Event I

EVENTS TO COME

Cabinet Meetings : Periodic Conseil d'états for the purpose of naming ministers,
ratifying positions, notifying of lightning re-shuffles, writing laws & decision making in general.

*WILL TAKE PLACE

Opening of the Passport Office : The A to Z of how to get your papers in Lizbekistan
with the whole nightmare scenario including every single sordid detail that leads you
just one paper away from the result you crave so much. With lists of required documents,
stipulations, appointments with officials in rabbit hole offices + how to obtain black market documents.

*WILL TAKE PLACE

Opening of the Pseudo-tourist Bureau : Information about travel destinations, tickets,
what to do etc. This event requires our Lizbeks participation.
They will be asked to provide a photo of a getaway destination
(the destination can be physical or otherwise) with details on how to get there,
what one does there, tips for shopping or eating and something to bring home.

*PROBABLE

Physical Matchmaking Event : The Minister for Physical Matchmaking requires
ID photos of all citizens and Ministers with which she shall stage a series of mass matchmaking events.

*HAS ALREADY TAKEN PLACE

Retrospective of Art Lizbek : Exhibition to be organised of artists from all ages
who have worked in Lizbekistan. Including list of artists known principally for their other nationality.
Mode d'emploi : Citizens will be given 9 details sur l'artiste en question
i.e. name, epoch, place of birth, socio/historical context etc. ;
with this information they shall come up with a work of art from the artist.

*CERTAIN

Regional Products : Periodic 'Happening Commerciales'.
Offering up to the citizens a wide range of the aforementioned Regional Products.

*WITHOUT DOUBT

Gala Dinners : Charitable dinners assembling the most important dignitaries for a cause,
whilst tasting some of the finer Lizbek delicacies.

*NOT SURE

Cocktails : The ratification of the "national cocktail" crée by Mister Paul Harrington
(Minister for the Celebratory Cocktail) residing at 'Hotwired' on the 25th of June 1997
has assured us many occasions for our Lizbeks to meet and make merry over their drink.

*SURE


:-)))


Expressions of interest should be addressed to the Embassy of Lizbekistan

( S.A.R.L. 's private secretary : Miss Harriet Hornblower)

embassy@lizbekistan.com