latvia
A letter from Latvia ...



FAST FACTS ABOUT THE BALTIC TRIP :



THE "L" COALITION : A lightning DECISION state trip was undertaken a few months ago to one of the Baltic states to discuss defence issues, de-nationalization policy et autres AFFAIRES D'ÉTAT. Meetings were held with a number of local authorities & experts on transitional economy states & developing countries beginning with the letter 'L' . Definite progress was made in the move towards the forming of a coalition of L countries.

MASTERMIND : Our top advisor -----, spearheaded singlehandedly the week long operation dans la capital, pushing for appropriate positioning of Lizbekistan within the L community. La princesse a particulièrement appreciée pendant THE OFFICIAL TRIP son grand style & sense diplomatique, le port de son Gucci suit pour les pourparlers avec des ambassades & son pull Valentino for the more casual discussions with former members of the KGB. Aujourd'hui nous pourrions dire qu'un contact a été établi...

THE PRESS : The talks were covered by members of the British Press + Katya Galitsine (séjour payé par British Airways) interested in promoting their (they think) all time low tarif of 220 USD (aller/retour à partir de Londres) to Riga, host city to the 'L' countries meeting. Our very own airline At Your Own Risk, pratique un tarif bien plus intéressant avec départs de Stirlinabad at 999F en direction des capitaux de tous les pays membres, journalistes with a press card from the Lizbek Sentinel, Galasnost, or the State Newsletter bénéficient du moitié prix .

FILE TRANSFERAL : The famous zip-drive purchased by the state during the official visit to New York (J&R Discount on Broadway; $50 rebate till May 15 already long over) proved to be a major asset during the baltic trip, allowing massive file transferal of vital documents from the 'Brain' to 'Zip-Liz' the most important file being ------- ----3.6.3.2. Créé le : lun 28 juin 1993, Modifié le Dim 20 Avr 1997 © 1988-1993 Jim Leitch, Toronto, Canada; 285ko, 290,886octets, which contains tous les membres du réseaux

3D GLASSES & an appropriate strategy for a virtual country: After due discussion with various experts about les événements du janvier et l'introduction de l'arreté 95c interdisant le port d'armes en Lizbekistan, the only really multi-purpose defence equipment seen during the trip to be appropriate for our besoins est le modèle Chiara. & that's why nous préconisons la porte de 'night vision goggles' in any sticky situation. They are designed for land use including the driving of vehicles (volvo break, combie, peugeot 404, golf hatch-back, mercedes 450 SLE, citroên AX, espace et velo-solex) short and medium range observation and surveillance. Owing to to their adjustable focus, they can be used for any type of close tasks such as map reading, russian night club menus, repair of vehicules, maintenance of materials. These tasks can be performed in the darkest nights (éclipse inclus) thanks to an additional invisible IR lighting. In addition, the 4X magnifier is the ideal accessory of CHIARA to combine mobility and long range observation. The CHIARA MAG ultimate version is fully optimized for long range observation objective lens providing a built-in 4X magnification and image interlacing. For hip-shooting, the ALFRED laser pointer together with CHIARA is essential.
all comments, observations ET COMMANDES should be addressed to him at his home number (commission 2%).

REAL ESTATE : A particularly extensive visit was paid to Valdemara iela, 23 (room 218 première étage droite/gauche) although no higher than the first floor and rarely lower, this due to the thorough rudeness of the entirely clad in black personnel du hotel restaurant & the un-warranted service charge for the Latvian 70's, Seeker's style female singer strumming in one corner (ça ne fais rien leur loyer va tripler). An invitation was extended by the occupant of the fourth floor centre appartment sur cour (same address) to inspect some antiquities and or be of any help; but what kind of help? Blaumana iela, 9 was also visited & especially so la porte de l'appartement 25 au 4ème étage droite (division possible mais il faut virer les familles d'abord) & les sous sols (night club possible - déjà vide). Il ne faut pas oublier the Barona house nor the Jurmala house fitted with an anti tank electronic window donnant directement sur la mer.

NIGHT LIFE : Some attention was paid during the stay to the night-life industry in that city (an industry which has hitherto remained unexploited in our virtual state), with informal visits conducted in the company of Lena, Marina, Katya, Alexis & Peteris to "Zero Zone" and to a Rave Party featuring DJ Paul Evans (London), DJ Ivan (Moscow) & a cameo visit by DJ Janis (Riga)(who arrived with only one rose although we were 5),(Cannelle stayed in the car). DOG

SKIPPING : Experts kept up their top form throughout the talks & informal visits with a draconian régime of non-stop skipping every night (except one) between 1900H & 2000H whilst keeping abreast of current affairs through the BBC World Service (16 other channels available) , before slipping back into to their usual slothful behaviour accompanied by beer (Altaris) & cigarettes (Rothman's blue or Marlboro gold).

MINI SKIRTS : The cobblestoned streets of Riga. Prestigious turbo-injected, plume infested, rust infected special occasion state car (with optional sun-roof). Aux tempèratures de moins de zèro les célèbres "Baltic Legs" so admired by Pierre Cardin et George Illich.

HIT RUN,CASH & CARRY : A pay-off was made by the Latvian mafia to our contact in Riga in the form of 100DM after a near accident (ENTIRELY HIS FAULT). This after a particularly tiring pneu crevé, solved in-extremis by SOSLatvia, after four hours on the side of the road in the BITTERLY cold middle of nowhere coming back from an inspection of la proprieté agricole at Valdek. Les 100DM ont étaient immediately placed in various Lizbek Łtocks & Bonds and at the time of writing had quadrupled en valeur.

PRINCIPLES : The official reading list established POUR DES MOMENTS CREUX before departure by the Ministre de l'Orthograffe et de la Syntaxe WAS met with a concentrated effort by our Head of State to wade through the events that led up to the upsetting 'aboutissement' mentioned on page 802 (Anna Kanenina - Penguin Classics - Copyright © Rosemary Edmonds, 1978 All rights reserved) of the first book on the list. The code of principles defined by Vronsky part 3, chapter 20, paragraph 3, and the events of page 443 in no way allowed us to imagine such an outcome. Quel pertinence a "The Xenophobe's Guide to Russia" and what can possibly come out of the reading of Hard Times, Dicken's powerful and withering portrait of a Lancashire mill town in the 1840's. Ou veut il en venir

ÉLÉMENTS SUCRÉS DU RAPPORT LETTONE

en raison de pénurie

PRINCIPLES
LE CODE D'HONNEUR DE VRONSKY
ALEXANDRE h.



LIZBEK POSTHUME

LA DATE DE NAISSANCE DE LEO TOLSTOY : 9-9-1828
EN RAISON DE CETTE DATE DE NAISSANCE EXCEPTIONNELLE ET VU LE PLAISIR PROCURER PAR LES
PAGES 327, 443, ET 802 D'ANNA KARENINA IL EST NOMMÉ LIZBEK D'HONNEUR (À VIE)


REMAINING ELEMENTS FROM THE DEFENCE REPORT

SOME OF THIS REPORT WAS A BIT BORING BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT THE FULL VERSION N'HESITEZ PAS A CONTACTER LE SECRETARIAT DE LA PRINCESSE. NAMELY : MISS HARRIET HORNBLOWER

DEFENCE/STRATEGY/REPORT/"L"COUNTRIES/RIGA/97IV29

Notes to the meetings held with ----- ------, -------, --------- -.. about defence issues in Lizbekistan in view of the "L" coalition.

Defence in general (Navy, Airforce, National Guards, etc.) has largely been untouched in our country : spending $100m borrowed on the open market for virtual defence may seem a little high in view of our national debt, but tenders are to be out by/after autumn of this year. However it is not sure when. Last to decide is the government and thus -----, if the condition of the economy is not right then the defence borrowing will be postponed until conditions are right - i.e. economic growth and tax collection infrastructure- no more pressures from a ------- threat, however the pressure will come from Nato requirements which stipulates a 2% GDP spending requirement on defence as a minimum.


Priorities are :

1. light portable anti-tank
2. light portable anti-aircraft
3. late light infantry
4. aircraft - heavy surveillance
5. helicopters (5) search and rescue and high tech surveillance
6. 1 ramette de papier in
military pink

Defence Expenditure in the next two years to be defined important are the non-commercial positions between the ------ and the ------- MODs, ------ will visit ------ before he arrives to ------, it is important to establish a strong co-operation between ------ and ------ in the form of donations, soft loans, grants or discounts on equipment
Tenders dates not set and not yet approved sure???

Defence buying will depend on price, quality, and politics, the political decision will very much depend on the seller. Which position in Nato (relative to ------) and what power within EU. ------ is tops as a politically correct partner. So political aspects & other considerations with the weapon themselves, from whom (private company affiliated with), and the price (decision outside of the MOD). 1) what -technical ?, 2)political decision 3) entering/ preparing, taking a point of view and entering negotiations which will be led by a special commission for state expenditure all expenditure above Lats 5,000 has to go through this body, the procurement initially has to go through the contract & finance department of the --- led by Colonel -------- Secretary of State, however the final word from the government is (no clear procurement policy)

latvia


The end of September cabinet meeting will decide on the procurement for defence matters and general strategy for the immediate future of Lizbekistan...






lizbekistan